Adore.

All this love fills me up to the top of my head until it tips and spills all over. I will adore and adore and adore you til we are a hundred and ten.x J

Lovely you.

Motionless,  the ceiling looks down on us. Softly softly, fingers tip toe each other til separate hands meet tied to a dance and promise in the air.  Here's lovely you, loving me, and I'm in love.  With the whispers of a silver storm shaking trees and sweeping streets, our hearts' afloat and feather light. This room is full, with just us two and I could stand all my life to stay this way with only you. Paint the years of forever ahead wearing our faces down - aglow with lines that time drew then left behind and a hundred and million I love you's after...I'll still be yours and you'll be mine. And this much I know will remain the truth, honest to life, cross my heart hope to die. A hundred years passed of silver storms, silvered hair and all, that there I'll be, with lovely you, loving me right beside. More than still and ever in love.x J.

Gingerbread twenties.

Pondering over my ever escaping twenties on the run. Its like the gingerbread man, I'll never catch him. 

I've only just started feeling right about being in my own skin, like I might even know myself alittle bit. Just starting to grow quietly confident in the little that I understand about the world, about people, family, friends, strangers, love, about trust, life, spirituality, the good, the bad...but most of all, if maybe still rather tentatively, about myself.

I'm not so shy to be conscious, awake to, and accepting of myself anymore - what makes me me. What I like, what I might dislike, what I believe in, what I vaguely don't. I have shaken off so much of the clashing and clumsy, mindless thoughts, strokes and flashes of conflicting colours I couldn't use to paint any sense with swirling ever so unruly in my head.   The self doubt, second guessing, the undermining, the little old hesitant me.

And at twenty seven approaching fast at the doorstep of eight, staring down the dark and short barrel into my thirties - I see that its not about the destination or defining where the finish line will lie.  An open ended question that you should never feel the pressure to answer...and the answer will never stay constant, or stand suspended in the still, waiting to be unearthed. Because the journey here was long winded - through some rad and wonderful trips, and some thick wayward back roads I wish I could have avoided along the way but - I am sure as hell now that there could have been no better way to get here, to be here, right now. Just a moment in a moving picture, one cut frame out of a myriad other possibilities, circumstances, ever evolving seasons and change. 

So now that I see the gingerbread man's still in sight, but quickly disappearing, I'll keep on chasing. Where's he going? I could sit and question, but I've learnt now there's no time but to just follow and run like your life depends on it. I never knew til now that this was the game. That it is, just all about the chase. That afterall, this is what your twenties is meanto be all about.  J